Ghost of Christmas Past!

Daily Prompt:

What is your very favorite holiday? Recount the specific memory or memories that have made that holiday special to you.

* * * * 

Sleepy eyed I’m awaken by my brother.  I glance over at the clock, big red letters flashed, 6:30 am.  This was an every year thing.  Tim would quietly walk through the house to me and wake me up.  Him and I would then tip-toe into the living room, still in our pajama’s, sit in front of the Christmas tree Indian style.  We’d wait.

One particular Christmas, I remember, was the very last Christmas we spent with our grandmother – who shortly after had seven strokes, back to back, and was paralyzed.  An air mattress was laid out in the living room floor, on it laid my grandmother  and her boyfriend of fifteen years.  Excitement boiled within my brother and I that we couldn’t wait, we thought about making all kinds of noises to wake someone up.  Instead.  We waited.  Just like every year.

Sitting in front of the tree was a tan teddy bear with a red sweater.  I knew it was mine.  I wanted it.  I knew who it was from.  And I wanted it.  (I still have that bear and I was 11 when this Christmas happened.)

Every holiday is easily remembered, however I cannot recall everything.  Some of my memories of my childhood is blurred or isn’t remembered correctly.  

I can remember my last Christmas while my mother was still alive.  She was so excited about the present.  My mother decided that every year we’d get one big present, usually costing her over 100$.  A large box sat behind the tree with my name on the tag.  I had no idea what it was.  The morning when we opened it I pulled out every ‘Nsync doll, and the full collection of glass bobble heads.  That is all I wanted, nothing else meant as much as those dolls.  (I also still have those.)  I was 15. A few years ago, however, some kids broke into a shed my brother and I own, pulled out every single bobble head and destroyed them.  I cried.  I felt like I lost my mom all over again.  A week later my brother handed me the collection of bobble heads.  The day he realized they were broke he got onto and purchased them for me.  I was 24.

I can remember the last year I spent with my dad.  Not perfectly.  It was a bad year.  But I remember that I threatened to mush his food because he had a trek after having everything in his throat removed due to throat cancer.  I remember that night because of the fact he was there, and after that he lived a couple months before passing.  I was 23.

Last year my brother and I, (not a Christmas memory), went to Denny’s for dinner.  His wife and step-children went to her mothers and my brother had to work that day.  After he got home we got ready and had dinner together.  It doesn’t seem like much to a lot of people who I tell about it.  But after some of the past years, that was perfect.  Just my brother and me.  I was 25.

This year I am excited.  I’m hoping nothing horrible happens and we have a great day.  Of course, though, my brother has to work so we’ll have to wait until he gets off.  But either way I’m happy.  I’m ready.  Finished shopping for presents.  All I have to do is buy the dinner.  

The one thing I’m sure everyone noticed – the years I remember, are the last years I spent with certain people.  My grandmother.  My mother.  My father.  

I lost the spirit after my mother passed away and I’m just recently getting the urge to celebrate back.  Hopefully I keep the urge and it continues to grow.  However, I’m Santa Claus this year.  I have many stocking stuffers.  


6 thoughts on “Ghost of Christmas Past!

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