By twenty-five most people have already figured everything out.  Or so they thought.  The ones who finish high school at 18 & decided against going to college.  They got married, and now have children.  Now finding part-time jobs around the age of 25 because their kids are in school & they are bored.

Then there are the ones who finish high school at 18 & went straight to college.  Finishing up their degree & probably near getting their masters degree.  They more than likely have a boyfriend they’ve had for many years & not looking at having children anytime soon but are talking about marriage.

Then there are the few out there who dropped out of high school at 16.  Not because they weren’t intelligent enough to do it, but because when they walked into their high school they felt as if they were drowning.  Nothing seemed right & everything was suffocating.  The teachers.  Students.  Homework.  Even their closest friends.  So they dropped out.  Didn’t finish.

Then horrible job after horrible job led them to realize they wanted to go to college.  They have no significant other, no children & aren’t really thinking about either.  They want to get a degree in something that matters to them.  Even if they have to use it for other things than what they hoped.

So around 21 they decide to go to school.  They enroll & begin their education in English.  Because that is what they want to do.  Half way through the semester, after talking to someone they are close with they decided to change their major to business – because English isn’t going to get them anything but they can do anything with a business degree.  A few semesters go by taking business class after business class.  After failing a complete semester of business classes it hits them!  I am in the wrong area of study.  But after so many semesters… isn’t it too late?

That is when all the conversations you’ve ever had in your past come to a flying halt in front of you & it makes you think oh no!

Then it makes you wonder if everything you’ve chosen so far, mostly out of fear of doing the wrong stuff, you’ve picked all the wrong stuff.
The point?

I just feel like I am supposed to do more than what I have done.  I’m so scared of leaving Oklahoma & being away from my brother when sometimes that is what I think I’m supposed to do.  Ever feel like the life you’re living isn’t the life you were meant to live?  At times I feel extremely happy & others I’m sitting around watching television by myself thinking I wish there was more to this.  I’m not so sure it’s all about colleges & work.. but something is missing & I cannot pinpoint what it is.  But sitting here tonight I think about going back to College & finishing my two year.  Then what?  Go on with my two year and be done with it?  No.

But the biggest question I have : How can a person figure out what is missing in their life if they aren’t sure what it is?


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