Guam.. here I come.

Not really.

I cannot afford a trip to Guam.  I can barely afford groceries.  Okay.  I can’t afford groceries.  That’s because I’m poor.  Yeah.  I said it.  Online.  Stuck forever.  But I am.

I decided to give back the refrigerator I was paying for.  100$ more a month.  Then I can buy groceries.  Where will I put them?  In the refrigerator that I am buying from a friend.  It’s old.  Yellow.  But… it works.  So I’m happy.

I’m thinking about getting rid of my television that sits in my bedroom.  That would be another 50$.  But then again I don’t want to.  Confusion.

I was sitting here thinking about writing & began reading through blogs.  Found a couple I like.  Follow?  Check!  I barely get sign onto this anymore because I just don’t have anything to read.  No inspiration.  I have no inspiration for much.  Mostly writing.  W-R-I-T-I-N-G.

I read a post about ‘dream jobs’ & that many people ‘settle’ with jobs just because they can get the job.  I have done that.  Sort of.  I like my job.  At a casino.  Sitting in front of a computer.  But my passion will always lie with writing.  It’s been my passion since I was in fifth grade when I wrote my very first poem & got an A because my teacher LOVED it.  Now that I think back on the poem it was silly.  What did it say?

Friends.
I have so many friends,
There all so mean,
I don’t know which one I like best.
They’re all so nice,
They’re all so mean,
They’re all so hyper,
Just like me.

Just to make a point, I actually forgot the second line of that just now.  I had to think hard.  (Most of my life I have forgotten.)

When I first entered college I was going to get a degree in English.  Keep going & get a degree in journalism.  I talked to someone about that idea & for some reason I let them talk me out of it.  A semester later I changed my degree plans to business management.  I don’t want to be someone’s boss.  I could care less – honestly, if I was to ever be able to stick my finger in someone’s face & tell them “you’re stupid & doing it all wrong”.  (Yes, I realized that AFTER I went out for supervisor at my job.)  I want to write.  I want to write.  I want to write.  I want to write.

I was told once that I only want to write to make loads of money.  Just so every one knows, most writers are NEVER published.  That will be me.  I will never be published.  I don’t have the inspiration to finish something I begin to write.  One of these day’s I suppose.

But a couple things I’ve noticed in the last few years:

EVERYONE wants to be a novelist & be published & make bookoo’s of money.  (Unless you’re lucky enough to write something like Twilight or Harry Potter – that is crap.)

Most people begin writing in their 20’s, finally get a break & get published in their 40’s.  (I’ve been writing since I was 12.  Maybe my break will be sooner than my 40’s.)

Writing is hard.  (A bunch of blah’s together with a period doesn’t work.)

Writing is really hard.

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