I cannot afford a trip to Guam. I can barely afford groceries. Okay. I can’t afford groceries. That’s because I’m poor. Yeah. I said it. Online. Stuck forever. But I am.
I decided to give back the refrigerator I was paying for. 100$ more a month. Then I can buy groceries. Where will I put them? In the refrigerator that I am buying from a friend. It’s old. Yellow. But… it works. So I’m happy.
I’m thinking about getting rid of my television that sits in my bedroom. That would be another 50$. But then again I don’t want to. Confusion.
I was sitting here thinking about writing & began reading through blogs. Found a couple I like. Follow? Check! I barely get sign onto this anymore because I just don’t have anything to read. No inspiration. I have no inspiration for much. Mostly writing. W-R-I-T-I-N-G.
I read a post about ‘dream jobs’ & that many people ‘settle’ with jobs just because they can get the job. I have done that. Sort of. I like my job. At a casino. Sitting in front of a computer. But my passion will always lie with writing. It’s been my passion since I was in fifth grade when I wrote my very first poem & got an A because my teacher LOVED it. Now that I think back on the poem it was silly. What did it say?
I have so many friends,
There all so mean,
I don’t know which one I like best.
They’re all so nice,
They’re all so mean,
They’re all so hyper,
Just like me.
Just to make a point, I actually forgot the second line of that just now. I had to think hard. (Most of my life I have forgotten.)
When I first entered college I was going to get a degree in English. Keep going & get a degree in journalism. I talked to someone about that idea & for some reason I let them talk me out of it. A semester later I changed my degree plans to business management. I don’t want to be someone’s boss. I could care less – honestly, if I was to ever be able to stick my finger in someone’s face & tell them “you’re stupid & doing it all wrong”.
(Yes, I realized that AFTER I went out for supervisor at my job.) I want to write. I want to write. I want to write. I want to write.
I was told once that I only want to write to make loads of money. Just so every one knows, most writers are NEVER published. That will be me. I will never be published. I don’t have the inspiration to finish something I begin to write. One of these day’s I suppose.
But a couple things I’ve noticed in the last few years:
EVERYONE wants to be a novelist & be published & make bookoo’s of money. (Unless you’re lucky enough to write something like Twilight or Harry Potter – that is crap.)
Most people begin writing in their 20’s, finally get a break & get published in their 40’s. (I’ve been writing since I was 12. Maybe my break will be sooner than my 40’s.)
Writing is hard. (A bunch of blah’s together with a period doesn’t work.)
Writing is really hard.