Maybe it’s fate…

I decided that I would try & take my job a little further.  Instead of just sitting at a desk in front of computers I wanted to try & go out for supervisor.  I filled out the application, got an interview – thought I done really well.  I dressed nice.  Took out my tongue ring.  Fixed my hair.  Done my make up.  Showed up nearly fifteen minutes early.  Spoke in complete sentences.  Never said ‘uh’, ‘but’, or paused for a really long time.  I really believed I had a shot.  Apparently, I did something stupid.  Or something.  I’m not sure.  They don’t tell things like that.  I went to work Saturday & in my box was a rejection letter :

Dear Barbara,

Thank you for applying for the position.  But right now, you suck.

Boo you!


Your Boss.

Is that honestly what it said?  Of course not.

Ever since I got the rejection I’ve been trying to think of reasons why it’s a good thing.  I couldn’t really think of any.  I really, really wanted that job.  Bad.  I haven’t wanted something that bad in a while.  Except one thing.

…to finish my story.

Maybe that’s why I didn’t get it.  & even if it’s not true.  But what a thought.. didn’t get something like that & then get a burst of inspiration for my story?  Think about it.  Everyone says that everything happens for a reason.  Maybe.. just maybe… I didn’t get the job because ‘fate’ wants me to finish my story once & for all.

Will it happen?

I really hope so.


How Long Does It Last….

So I have sat down a few times to write & still nothing.  My novel just sits in my laptop collecting dust.  Is that even possible?  Internal dust from my hard drive.  But now I question whether or not I’m able to finish it.  It was a part true story of something I was doing – a guy I liked.  But the other day I ended it.  Just told him I am done with it and I’m sick of the crap.  That he isn’t what I wanted.

I thought about keeping it going and just have her find herself.  Know what I mean?  Like.. her end it in the story like I did in real life but then have him show up.  Is that retarded?  Y’all haven’t even read the story.  What is it about?  It’s about a girl who, ever since her Uncle was locked up, has been a pen-pal to prisoners.  Give them something to do & look forward to & have her something to keep her writing…. up to date.  After nearly 10 years of having bullshit thrown at her, and lie after lie she finds a guy.  Nice.  Cannot find bullshit by any means.  Starts to fall.  But doesn’t understand how that is possible through letters.  …now apparently after nearly two years of writing & what not she ends it.  Goes on with her life.  & I’m thinking about letting him just show up at her house. ((Mostly because I don’t want to lose the ending.))  I might even make up a relationship or two – he still has five years to go.

Sounds stupid doesn’t it? 

I’m almost done with it. 

I guess we’ll see, huh?